You Set Your Goals

I have talked about goals before, but not in particular who is setting those goals. This week is about who you should allow setting your goals. Despite that goal setting is something we do every day without even thinking about it, we sure end up pursuing goals others set for us and not the ones we want to establish ourselves.

I’ve mentioned it before, and I’ll do it again, the goals set shouldn’t be too hard or too easy to achieve for two reasons. Goals exceedingly easy to accomplish become boring, and goals remarkably difficult to accomplish become continuous downfalls. The purpose is to have smaller goals that will ultimately lead to the end goal. Goals that are challenging enough, on the edge of failing but with a chance of accomplishment is what we should aim to stand.

Another thing to be removed from this equation is what “others think,” if we focus on what other people think, we are automatically setting the wrong type of goals. Our ambitions and aspirations are not the same as other people’s, so our goals should not be what they want them to be. As a result of this kind of reasoning, our attention drifts towards the end goals instead of the journey. The “just get it done” mentality won’t hold in the long run.

Then social media strikes us, and people are commenting, “you can’t do that,” “you will never be able to make that happen,” and then our motivation go through the rooftop. We write down goals based on external factors that lead to stress and frustration. The uneducated mind then believes that to be solid motivation. However, the educated mind knows that the wrong kind of external stimulus results in anxiety, pressure, tension, all build-up from the negative impact of external factors that lead to bad goal-settings. Therefore, gather yourself, block out what others want for you and start setting daily goals for what you want.

Bad example

You don’t merely determine that you are going to become better at organizing your meals to get the right nutrition in. You decide to make meal preparations for every single meal of the day, no cheat day, no sugars, and absolutely no fast food and alcoholic beverages. You will eat the same kind of food every week, and you start tomorrow. On top of that, you want to wake up at the same time, go to bed at the same time, stress less, and become a hell of a planner. Also, you would like to start reading a book a week for a whole year (even though you know you can’t remember the last time it took you one week to read a book because it has never happened.)

The result of a bad example

So, your first day is over, and you feel accomplished. You have had your five meals of healthy foods and beverages, you haven’t had any sugar, you feel the energy skyrocketing, and you go to bed with a clear conscience. Day two, your friends ask you to join them for dinner out at your favorite restaurant after practice. You want to say yes, but it’s the second day of your new lifestyle, and you promised yourself you’d try not to do this to yourself again. Hold your promise. So you chose not to go out with them, you feel a little regretful, but they text you afterward and state that next time you’d have to come so, you agree. Day three is a game day on the road, meaning you can’t bring all of your meal preparations and have to eat what everyone else eats. You try to make the best of the situation. Day four, you start to miss that chocolate bar after a tough practice that keeps you from starving until you get home for dinner. Day five, you can’t notice a change and think that maybe if you go back to your old habits for a day or two, nothing will change. Day six, the whole team is having a taco party, one of your favorites. Salsa and chips are not a part of your new lifestyle, but you believe that only having a few won’t matter. Day seven, you have your whole fridge full of meal prepared foods, healthy snacks, yet you decide to skip lunch because your family friends are taking you to dinner and desserts after the practice.

What you can do instead is to start with small substitutions and changes. I wrote a blog post on how you can slowly substitute different kinds of foods without noticing a notable difference in your intake but a rather significant change in your appearance and perhaps your energy levels. In addition, read my previous blog post on how to set S.M.A.R.T. goals here!

Until next week, sit down and think about who sets your goals in your life, is it you or is it your surrounding?

One Comment Add yours

  1. Steve Ruis says:

    I tend to encourage process goals, almost exclusively, for those getting started on goals. This is because they are not yet in a position to affect outcome goals. And, I teach that you can only work on one goal at a time and suggest a maximum of three. So, working on Goal 1 to the exclusion of all else is followed (in the same session) to working on Goal 2 to the exclusion of everything else, etc. The example you gave was a conglomeration of many, many goals and must be avoided because there is no way to concentrate on so many goals simultaneously.


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