”Shame On The One Who Gives Up” Charlotte Kalla

In this blog post we follow one of the best cross country skiers of all time on her journey. We dig deep into the mentality of a Champion.

In her book, Charlotte Kalla, bravely shares her struggles with the inner critic. She highlights the importance of challenging negative thoughts and embracing self-compassion to overcome feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

There’s a voice in our head that tells us we only won because the others were bad, not because we’re any good. This voice never lets us fully enjoy our victories or believe in our abilities. It makes us think our successes are just lucky breaks or due to other people’s mistakes, rather than our own efforts and skills. By always downplaying our achievements, this voice keeps us from feeling confident and proud of what we’ve accomplished, making it hard to truly believe in ourselves. Ever heard that voice in your head?

Let’s take a look at my top takeaways from Kalla’s book just on that topic:

1. Feeling Out of Place
2. Battling Through Personal Beliefs
3. Dealing With The Oppressive Voice In The Back Of Your Mind
4. How To See Yourself – Deal With The Voice of Shame
5. “I Am In Charge Of My Time And What I Want To Do With It.”

Feeling Out of Place

Feeling out of place often stems from that same inner voice that tells us we only succeeded because others were worse. This voice makes us question our own worth and achievements, leading to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. In moments where we should feel proud, we instead feel like impostors, doubting our abilities and fearing that others will see through our façade.

Kalla talks about these struggles openly, sharing how even world-class athletes can grapple with self-doubt and the fear of not belonging. This sense of not belonging can be particularly strong in competitive or high-achieving environments, where the pressure to perform is intense. Overcoming these feelings requires acknowledging and challenging the inner critic, and learning to appreciate and celebrate our genuine accomplishments.

Battling Through Personal Beliefs

Battling through personal beliefs has been a significant part of Kalla’s journey which she discusses openly in the book. There were countless times when she questioned whether her victories were truly deserved, or just a matter of luck. In one passage, she says, “It is that persistent inner voice insisting I won because others had a bad day, not because I was talented enough.”

Moreover, Kalla shares how crucial it is to recognize these self-doubts and not let them overshadow our achievements. By focusing on her hard work, dedication, and unwavering support from her team and loved ones, she learned to overcome these negative thoughts. Writing about these challenges has been cathartic, and she hopes it helps others understand that even at the peak of success, we all grapple with similar internal struggles. It’s about acknowledging the inner critic and believing in our true abilities and worth.

Dealing With The Oppressive Voice In The Back Of Your Mind

The oppressive voice in the back of your mind is a relentless critic that undermines your confidence and magnifies your insecurities. This voice whispers doubts and fears, telling you that you’re not good enough, that your successes are undeserved, and that failure is inevitable. Charlotte Kalla talks about this struggle candidly, sharing her own experiences with self-doubt despite her achievements as a world-class athlete. She describes how this voice can be paralyzing, preventing you from taking risks or fully enjoying your accomplishments.

Overcoming this voice requires conscious effort and self-compassion, reminding yourself of your worth and celebrating your efforts and victories. Kalla emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and challenging these negative thoughts, gradually silencing the oppressive voice and replacing it with one that empowers and supports you.

How To See Yourself – Deal With The Voice of Shame

The voice of shame echoes loudly, convincing you that you are failing, unworthy, and fundamentally flawed. It casts a shadow over your achievements, whispering that you’re not capable or deserving of success. Charlotte Kalla addresses this insidious force, drawing from her own experiences to shed light on the destructive power of shame. She speaks about how it distorts your self-perception, making it difficult to see your strengths and accomplishments.

This voice of shame can immobilize you, trapping you in a cycle of self-criticism and doubt. Overcoming it requires courage and compassion (something we’ve heard Brown talk about in earlier blog posts), challenging this voice, and embracing your intrinsic value. Kalla emphasizes the importance of reframing failure as a natural part of growth, learning to forgive yourself, and nurturing a mindset of resilience and self-acceptance which we discuss every year on the blog. Be kind to yourself.

“I Am In Charge Of My Time And What I Want To Do With It.”

My favorite lesson from this book spins around the empowering realization that “I am in charge of my time and what I want to do with it.” This fundamental fact underscores the importance of taking ownership of our lives and making intentional choices about how we spend our time.

Kalla speaks about this principle, painting this picture of her journey to highlight the transformative power of self-direction. She emphasizes the significance of prioritizing activities that align with our values, passions, and goals, rather than caving to external pressures or expectations. This lesson serves as a powerful reminder that we have the agency to shape our destinies and create fulfilling lives on our terms. By embracing this mindset, we can cultivate a greater sense of purpose, and fulfillment in all aspects of our lives.

Until next week, I urge you to do what Kalla talks about in her book. Cultivate self-compassion and redefine failure. Practice being kind to yourself and changing how you see failure. Remember, we have the power to decide what we do with our time and what choices we make. This helps us live with purpose and make our own path for a happier life.

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